Love Letter to Portland
My Dear Portland,
I woke up to your name across the main headline of CNN. National news. You rarely make national news. And yet, my heart was crushed for you, and I knew it was time. To share my love for you, my deep care and jealousy for you.
We’ll start with the love songs. Right now it’s “Remember You Young” by Thomas Rhett. Obviously this song is about a person, but when I hear it, I think of you. I have 35 years of history, roots, and wings here, Portland. Years of discovering new neighborhoods, old homes, stunning murals. Years of laughing at your goofy creativity, eating weird donuts, (un)usual moments on the bus. I have played recreational soccer or lacrosse on nearly every one of your park and school fields. You are a beautiful city, a gem in this nation.
The other song that always makes me think of you is “Kiss the Rain” by Billie Myers, because duh. It rains a lot here. But honestly, this song reminds me of you right now because we are in a deep, dark, and rainy season. Clearly, we have some deep-seated racial issues that must be addressed. Your anger is fair and valid. Sometimes things have to get worse before they can get better. And they just got worse. National news over a fatal shooting after 90+ days of protesting involving riots, federals agents, and moms linking arms. What a mess. A swath of downtown has been seriously damaged and vacated, in part because of the pandemic and in part from the unrest.
The nation is watching, Portland. I would be embarrassed if I wasn’t so heartbroken. We can blame a divisive president or a passive mayor; there’s a lot of right and a lot of wrong on both ends. Mostly, there’s a lot of extreme.
“Kiss the Rain” leaves us with hope though. Even though things are broken and separated, we can go outside and kiss the rain and find connection. Ultimately, Dear Portland, we must do battle for healing and restoration. I’ll probably save the specifics for later letters, but for now I want to share one more love song with you.
When I hear the song, “A Thousand Miles” by Vanessa Carlton, I am always transported back to the beautiful Portland autumn of 2003. I’m riding across town from Eastmoreland through Laurelhurst and Grant Park, to the field on NE Tillamook below the old Wilcox School. My best friend is driving and we’re headed to soccer practice. It was freedom and independence. It was thrilling. I came of age here, Portland, and you supported me with space to roam and explore while still feeling safe. I grew and stretched here.
Now I see that you are growing and stretching. It’s awkward and painful, but it’s due time for that. Let me support you. I would walk A Thousand Miles for you.
In fact, I actually did drive about 2500 miles for you, my Dear Portland. You see, my little family moved to Detroit two years ago for a fabulous job offer. We were homesick and there was some culture shock (mostly because there was no culture, and apparently, we’re snobs haha!), but we didn’t hate it. We had a pretty good thing going. And then the pandemic hit. And things shut down and stayed that way with no end in sight. And we realized that we needed you. So we sold our house and drove home. You make me feel grounded. Your geography is familiar and predictable. I need you when schools and libraries and community centers are closed. I need to be able to jump on the freeway and drive mindlessly to somewhere I know. There’s a reason people grow up here, leave for awhile, but come back.
So I knew things would be different here because of the pandemic. But I did not expect such rage and destruction and division. I suppose it has been simmering for many years. And I know that these protests and scenes of unrest do not physically touch every neighborhood, but there is a pallor of dread hanging over you, Portland.
I guess what I’m saying is, I love you Portland. Your story isn’t over yet. Change is hard. But whatever you are afraid of, Portland, it’s not as scary as boarded up windows, shots in the night, police unable to respond to regular 911 calls. Sit down. Hear the anger. Arrest the criminals. Return from this a city worth looking up to. Because you are worth it.
In Love, Katie
